The Bad Author
by Yawmwen
Summary: My First Fic Enjoy
1. Default Chapter

The Day the Author Messed Everything Up.  
  
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Chapter One: The Evil Unleashed.  
  
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Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, if I did I would not be writing fanfics.  
  
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This my first fanfic please don't do really hot flames. Go easy.  
  
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Once in Harry Potter world the Author decided to mess up everything. The trio were walking to transfiguration when it happened.  
  
Hermione, Ron, Harry:*walking from potions class to transfiguration*  
  
Harry:Snape is a stupid git.  
  
Hermione:Harrys right.  
  
Ron:Hermiones right.  
  
Harry:Don't you mean i'm right?  
  
Ron:Well if you are right and Hermione agrees with you and I say Hermiones right then i'm pretty much saying your right without stating it.  
  
Harry:O.o wow.  
  
Hermione:Ron, that is probably the most complicated sentence you have ever said.  
  
Ron:Your right.  
  
Author:*apears*Hi.  
  
Ron:*falls backwards*.  
  
Hermione:Who are you?  
  
Author:I'm the author!  
  
Hermione: AUTHOR?!  
  
Author:Yeah you dont have to yell Hermione.  
  
Hermione: HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?!  
  
Author:2 reasons.  
  
Hermione:Okay.  
  
Author:One:I'm the author  
  
Hermione:Okay.  
  
Author:2:I have read all your books.  
  
Ron:*who has got up*BOOKS?!  
  
Harry:*sounding important*I love Cho!  
  
All but Harry:NO DUH!  
  
Harry:Well I haven't talked for a while so I thought then would be a good spot to put myself back in the story.  
  
Hermione and Ron:STORY?!  
  
Harry and Author:NO DUH.  
  
Harry:Why do you think he is an author if this isn't a story?  
  
Author:Why do you think I am an author if this isn't a story?  
  
Hermione:Uhhhhhh.  
  
Harry:*in singing voice*HERMIONE DON'T KNOW SOMTHING HERMIONE DON'T KNOW SOMTHING!!!  
  
Author:Okay now I am going back to the part were Ron yells"BOOKS?!"okay?  
  
All:Okay.  
  
Author:*pulls out keyboard*ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, GO!*Hits backspace repeatly*  
  
Ron:*who has got up*BOOKS?!  
  
Author:Well yeah there are five!  
  
Ron:Oh.  
  
Harry:*who was having a side conversation*HERMIONE! YOU GO OUT WITH DRACO?!  
  
Hermione:No duh sherlock, the good smart girl always goese out with the badass boy!  
  
Ron:*falls backwards*  
  
Harry:Who is sherlock?  
  
Hermione:How the hell am I soposed to know!  
  
Harry:YOUR THE F*CKER WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING!  
  
Harry:Wait. Why can't I say f*ck?  
  
Author:This is a pg-13 story moron! Now if you want to swear then il change rationg to R. But on one condition!  
  
Harry:Yeah.  
  
Author: You will have to go out with Ginny and do non pg-13 stuff with her.  
  
Harry:EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Ive done the going out part but THAT? NO WAY. At least not till next year.  
  
Ron:*furius*YOU GO OUT WITH GINNY. OH MY GOD YOU ARE DEAD!*pulls out wand*AVADA KEDAVRA!  
  
Author:*flicks stream of light into the sky*YOU WILL NOT HURT HARRY B*TCH!  
  
Ron:*runs away* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh.  
  
A/n:thats first chapter now R/R. 


	2. chapter 2

The Bad Author  
  
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Disclaimer: ARGGH I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!  
  
====================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================== Chapter 2, A few bad Cliches and the authors true insanity  
  
======================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================Hermione:When do you think Ron will be back.  
  
Author:*evilly*When I make him.*laughs insanly*  
  
Hermione:What do you mean?  
  
Author:Well sweetheart I am the author and what I say goese.  
  
Hermione:DON'T CALL ME SWEETHEART! Thats Draco's name for me.  
  
Author:I'm the author and I can do whatever I please!*Author Argues with Hermione for 5 minutes*  
  
Harry:Ginny is hot!  
  
Hermione:O.o Okay....  
  
Author:*laughs*I made you say that, puny mortals  
  
Sirius:*walks in with Ron*HOW DARE YOU SCARE RON YOU BASTARD!*Pulls out wand*ACCIO KEYBOARD!  
  
Author:*grows to be about 50 feet tall, and speaks in low scary voice*HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY KEYBOARD!  
  
Sirius:Oh Sh*t!  
  
Hermione:*to Sirius*You should never provoke the insane author!  
  
Sirius:Heres your keyboard back, oh great tall one!  
  
Author:Your punishment!  
  
Sirius:NOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Author:You should be scared! Now I shall bombard you with stupid Cliches!MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
All but Author:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Ginny:*appears*Hi all but Harry who I have a mad crush on and will run away whenever he talks to me.  
  
Hermione:CAN"T RESIST CLICHE'S!Hi I am Madly in love with Ron but I go out with Draco because he cool!  
  
Ron:NOOOOOOOOOO! I am gay!  
  
Harry:I go must go out with Ginny now!  
  
Sirius:*reading Harry Potter 5*I'm DEAD?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! But since Author and random Fanfiction readers like me I am still alive?  
  
Author:basicly. But also you give backbone to the story and without a backbone we all inverdbreas.  
  
(a/n:sorry if cliuches not good, all I could think of)  
  
Author:Now since I really do not like the way you all have treated me you will all be paired the way I want you to be!  
  
All:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Author:Ok since Hermione paired-  
  
Hermione:Yes!  
  
Author:As I was saying, Harry you are with Ginny.  
  
Ginny and Harry:Cool!  
  
Author:Ron you are with Pansy Parkinson.  
  
Ron:NOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Author:And Sirius will be paired with some random witch.  
  
Sirius:*sighs of relief*Good.  
  
Author:But she will be a death eater!  
  
Sirius:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Thank you for the really nice reviews! I love you all! Now that I know i'm wanted il update more! Remember to give suggestions and contructive critism so I know how I can improve.  
  
Sneak peak to next chapter:  
  
Author:All is ready for the evilness!  
  
Sirius:AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Harry:Oh GInny I love you!  
  
A few more flashes of stuff that nobody(but me) knows if even part of HP. 


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